There is a saying that goes, “You do not marry a person. You marry a family.” This is good if you marry into an agreeable family. But there are many stories about how in-laws can drive a couple apart. If you are experiencing this issue, here are some tips on how to preserve your marriage. Plus, these can keep your sanity intact.
Set Clear Boundaries
For new married couples, parents tend to meddle with every decision. This is especially true if you are living under the same roof. Residential developments such as Lancaster New City Cavite offer houses for sale that are perfect for starting a new life.
Having your own nest is a physical manifestation of putting boundaries. Less time with them means that they will not be able to have a say with everything in your household.Leave and cleave. But remember to do this with respect. Do not be rebellious or arrogant about it.
Work as a Team
When your spouse tells of a disagreement between them and your parents, listen well. As much as possible, it is better not to take sides. But when push comes to shove, show your loyalty to your spouse. When you took each other in marriage, you vowed to be a team. Your allegiance is not to anyone else but your spouse. This supersedes even that with your parents.
Make sure that your partner is reasonable, though. You would not want to defend an irrational spouse from your parents. Part of working as a team is to let your spouse see reason if they are wrong.
Be Private about Your Married Life
Many difficulties will arise in your marriage. You may find yourself with days when you want to vent to your parents. It may be reminiscent of when you were in school and you had a misunderstanding with a friend. But do yourself and your spouse a favor. Don’t do it.
Keeping your disagreements to yourself is not being secretive to your parents. Nor it is not about not trusting that they know the answers. It is simply protecting your marriage. Parents have a fierce way of holding a grudge against someone who has “wronged” their child. Long after the disagreement has cleared, they may still have an issue with your spouse.
Keep the Children Out of the Mix
No matter your issues with them, do not deprive your in-laws with their grandchildren. Your children are not objects that you can use to win a case. Do not let your children hear you saying negative things about their grandparents.
On the other hand, your in-laws must understand this vital principle, too. They should never influence their grandchildren’s thinking against their parents. Strive to create a loving and respectful relationship between grandparents and grandchildren.
See the Good
Amidst all the problems you may have with your in-laws, give them the benefit of the doubt. Remember that they are the parents of your spouse. They are part of the package that you signed on. See things from their perspective. They may have the best intentions, Only the wrong delivery. Remember that for every disagreement between the two of you, your spouse is right smack in the middle.
Married life comes with many adjustments and challenges. One of them is building a relationship with your in-laws. Give it your best shot. If it does not work as smoothly as you like, maintain a respectable distance.
